The Richness of Relationships Video with Nader Shabahangi, Judye Hess and Stephanie Rothman

The Richness of Relationships – Understanding How they Work and How they Do Not

Nader Shabahangi and Judye Hess, with Stephanie Rothman, in this Richness of Relationships video share a discussion that covers the complex subject of “Relationships.” Judye Hess and Nader Shabahangi have had a relationship for 30 years. They met at California Institute of Integral Studies where Judye was an instructor and Nader was her student. At a recent existential conference Judye and Nader were talking about their mutual lifelong interest in relationships and have teamed up to work on a upcoming book about the Richness of Relationships.

Relationships are rich and everyone does them a little bit differently.

Some of the items that Nader, Judye and Stephanie are addressing here stem from their desire to assist people in understanding how relationships work and how they do not. They ask “Is there a way that we can help the people that come into our lives?” The hope integral to these explorations is the possibility of giving everyone the opportunity to feel ok about their relationship style. Relationships are rich and everyone does them a little bit differently. Nader asks if by exploring the Richness of Relationships we might find out “How can we give people permission to find their own way in terms of relating and not feel wrong for how it is that they relate?”

Some questions they address in this video include: What are relationships for? Are relationships for everybody? Should I be alone or be with somebody?

Nader and Judye open the video with how they got “interested” in relationships. Nader shares a personal anecdote about relationships with the take away his thoughts that being who you are should not be submerged or cut out just because you are in a relationship. How can you find a relationship that still allows you to be who you are? How can you find a relationship that still allows you to be you and still have the benefits of being with somebody.

Relationships are as varied as there are people on this planet, everybody does them differently and there is not one size that fits all. So “Why be in a relationship?” One reason is the differences show us “ourselves.” Only while being with the “other” can we begin to understand who we are.

In this Richness of Relationships video many topics and issues found within relationships are touched upon including: Relationships are Varied, Living Separately, Differences, Relationships as a Spiritual Journey, Pets as Significant Relationships, What Brings Meaning to Life, Accumulation of Hurt, Hurt Builds Walls, “I” Statements, Blame, Owning the Emotion, “I” Statement as a Tool, Ruptures- the Importance of Repair, Acknowledgement and Apology, Repetition Compulsion, Change yourself, Learning about the Self, Different Perceptions about Shared Experiences, Spiritual Development, Acceptance, The Source of Giving, Being Human is not easy, Love, Philosophizing on relationships as a privilege, Measuring the Relationship, Being Open to Change and Uncertainty.

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